Episode 16: Blurred 280

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1. Interstate 280

Another breakfast alone, 
won't wash the bed sheets, 
can't lose the scent of your cologne. 
These words will dry on their own, 
all these things that I've done. 

2. Blurred

For Simba. 

Like back in the day, all these emotions make me numb. 
Time has lost all sense of propriety. 
Food tastes like the ghost of a cloud. 
I miss you and I don't know what to do. 
Everything is blurred, crumpled like foil, 
tossed into the bin like yesterday's news. 
I can't resist looking out the window, hoping to see you there. 
I wish I had more time to hold you close, to cry. 
My memory of you is mucked up, no matter how hard I try. 
Not sure how to move on, other than pretend to smile, 
fake it till I make it, plaster on that mask, 
put on my armor, moving senselessly 
like the queen on a chessboard. 
I want freedom from the pain. 
I bite back those tears 
when I hear your song on the radio, 
or any ballad, sad instrumentals at this point. 
Burning tears pierce my eyes like the nails on His cross. 
I wish I was there, so that you didn't leave this world alone. 
Wishing he told me the moment he thought you wouldn't make it. 
So many wishes left unfulfilled 
in the short amount of time. 
I hope to heal my damaged heart soon enough, 
undertaken so many beatings, 
these almost thirty years. 
I promise that you'll live on, 
in that broken corner of my soul, 
with everyone else I've lost. 

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