Show, don’t tell: 6 subtleties of body language

As writers, the adage “show, don’t tell” is often easier said than done. This phrase encapsulates a fundamental principle that goes beyond writing and into the nuances of human interaction.

Body language, often seen as a silent yet powerful form of expression, plays a critical role in conveying emotions, intentions, and attitudes. Understanding these subtleties can enhance interpersonal relationships, foster empathy, and facilitate deeper connections.

Words help articulate thoughts, but it’s through gestures, posture, facial expressions, and eye contact that individuals truly reveal their innermost feelings and reactions. Writers that are able to put body language in words can make their work relatable to their readers.

Here are some ways writers can begin to convey the complexities of body language in their work.

1. Showing interest

To show engagement in a conversation, have a character try the following techniques: lean in and ask open-ended questions; maintain strong eye contact; smile and nod to show interest; speak in short, concise bursts; contribute to the dialogue while encouraging the other person to share; adopt an open body posture; use light physical touch when appropriate; respect personal space; give full attention to the speaker; and stay focused without distractions.

If the character is showing emotional or physical attraction to another characters, they might have dilated pupils and mimic the other person’s movement. A woman might cross or uncross their legs towards the object of their affection.

An honest character might expose their palms, unfold their arms and legs, and lean forward.

2. Showing disinterest

Leaning back with an angled body, crossed arms, and a wandering gaze, this individual displays signs of being easily distracted. Their poor eye contact and reluctance to speak, often coupled with casual shrugging, create a compelling impression of disengagement and indifference.

3. Showing uneasiness

To portray distress, a character might exhibit physical jitters, such as fiddling with their watch or touching items unrelated to the conversation. They might frequently break eye contact, look down or away, swallow often, touch their throat, or rub their neck. Additionally, they might hesitate when responding, let their speech trail off, and display a non-committal demeanor. They might keep their hands in their pockets. If they’re seated at a table, they might rest their hands or arms on the furniture. Furthermore, men will rub an imaginary pain in their neck, while women will fiddle with their purse or bag.

A submissive character will smile, slump their bodies, and try to appear small and as disarming as possible.

4. Showing frustration

When a character expresses anger, the writer typically portrays this through a tight voice and a low tone. They tend to speak directly and get to the point, using short sentences. The character might display facial and muscular tension, curl their hands, and grip objects firmly. They might thrust out their chest, give an intense stare, hardly blink, and limit movement in their neck. The character might grapple with the idea of fight or flight, have an increased heart rate, and show dilated pupils. Their face might be flushed, they might ball up their fists, and use their index fingers pointedly.

5. Showing trickery

A character who uses subterfuge will manipulate their eye contact, flash a smile, and sputter. They might change the topic, misdirect the person they are speaking to, and try to delay their reactions. Additionally, they will steer the conversation in different directions, interrupt others, and adopt a defensive posture to protect their true intentions. They might also increase the physical distance between themselves and others, as well as block or close off their body language.

More ways to show a character lying is when they cough or cover their mouth whenever possible. They’ll touch or rub their nose or the space between the nose and mouth. They’ll rub their eyes and scratch their neck with an index finger.

6. Showing superiority

These are universal gestures a character might use to assert dominance: steepling their fingers, placing their hands behind their back, or letting their thumbs stick out of their pockets. The character may put their hands on their hips or straddle a chair. Men often fold their hands behind their heads while sitting up, while women tend to sit or stand tall to project confidence.