Episode 17: Requiem for a Fallout Shelter

Stream the episode now on SoundCloud or your favorite podcast player, and read along with the author.

Happy first anniversary to the podcast!

1. Closed In

I chose this space
I chose this time
I chose this movement 
I chose this shape
I prefer the solitude 
but do I deserve it?

2. Lost Youth

he left me
all alone 
to fend for myself
do you know how that feels
in confusion, I kept my lips sealed 
and the World Turns

3. how I learned to love the bomb

rumors and hearsay
the story that never dies 
almonds and applesauce 
the smells that never lie
faith in death, faith in life, Faith in humanity 
it's all the same

3. Overwhelmed

I share the same air, as she 
I sit in the same chair, as she 
I bleed the same metallic taste of blood, as she 
yet I don't know who she is
she'll always be a mystery to me

3. I Left My Heart in Mountain Valley

I went through the motions 
I danced The Peasant dance 
when I was meant for the solo, as the king
I sing the song of the quail 
when I was blessed 
with the pipes of the Nightingale
I spoke the word of the Layman 
when I was destined to speak 
the words of the demagogue
I left my quiet farming town 
for the bright lights of another city 
I said, luck be a lady tonight 
but I came back because of Fate 
as the king, the Nightingale, the demagogue 
I slipped down the slope 
into the curse 
that shrouds my farming town 
I fought against the will 
and found myself Unbecoming 
I'm frozen to this place 
a tree root that won't die
I'm the peasant again, the Quail again, the Layman again.

4. Desperate

they say it's human nature 
how can belief in a fairy tale be human nature 
I've become so cynical 
that I only trust the tangible 
maybe it's time to let go

5. Miss Focusing / safe with me

it's so easy, it's so breezy 
I've got to stop the world 
misfocusing on me 
what have I got to lose 
shall I step up 
with my heart so bruised 
you'll be safe with me

6. Requiem’s Lament

she holds the world at Bay 
but she's like a lump of clay, 
waiting to be molded
she doesn't have the will to cry 
but she’ll be the first to lie
because of past heartache 
she takes her baby steps 
and I'm right there beside her

7. storm

alone, are you? 
so am I. 
crying, you are? 
me too. 
sheltered from the storm? 
so am I. 
afraid of the storm? 
me too.

8. Secondary Plot

in the backseat of my mind 
all I can think about is love 
will I be a star 
will I be happy 
will I have someone to give my heart to 
I walk past him every day 
as I go through the paces
she says hello 
and fetches me 
fresh cups of coffee 
without asking
I’m frigid in my bed
Since The One left
so I guess 
I should take the plunge
I guess 
I should fall in love
it's never too late

8. sick

maybe my mother didn't hug me enough
maybe my invisible friends didn't want to play with me 
but I like to mentally torture people 
I like to keep them wondering of my true motives
they are my puppets, and I play their strings
maybe I should have been nicer to my primary school teachers 
maybe I shouldn't have opened the fire extinguisher in the library
maybe I should have been more active in sports 
maybe I shouldn't have to explain myself
I'm sick, I admit it.

Help support the continued growth of Raconteuse Radio.