Episode 010: The Blinded Belong to 24

Guilliean reads her self-penned poetry. Stream the episode below and read along with the author.

1. Where Do I Belong?

all my life I straight tripped on who I was 
was I Filipino, was I American 
for 28 years I cannot assume either role 
I was never pigeonholed, but I never belonged
my accent is NorCal, born and bred 
my height is so misled 
I eat rice with my hands 
I nosh hamburgers for breakfast 
I say God Bless America with the firefighters 
I sing dahil Sa iyo like the Divas 
I drive like a maniac on the freeway 
but that's a given whether I'm brown or pink
doing our research made us children of the world 
Filipino Chinese Spanish German French 
loose lips sink ships 
Merchant ships brought lips together
sharing silly stories 
firing up new memories 
a whole new Branch to embrace
you can feed me cloying words 
tell me I should feel wronged
but you would be wrong 
I belong to both 
and to neither 
it's a miracle to feel 
as lonely as I've ever been
but as safe as I'll ever be 
caught between so many worlds 
I'll always be your girl

2. Blinded

if I could, I would 
give my eyes 
back to God 
return to sender 
address unknown 
to remove from me 
the grief that comes 
with being slightly shadowed 
in everyday situations 
these pin Pricks of space 
that adjust appropriately 
for the dark 
to the light 
unto the breach 
can't see the leaf 
on the Wind 
Watch how it soars
tired of seeing halfway 
can't meet you there neither 
I can't get anything right

3. twenty-four

24 hours in a day
24 years since 
riots serenaded the streets of LA
that powder keg 
of corruption
safety of unreality
violated blue and red combined 
made purple United 
against the tyranny of the 5-0 
we lived six hours away 
working class neighborhood 
Southside Modesto 
I can see your face cringe 
all the way over here
when I tell people where I lived
never thought it was that close
until the house down the Block 
had black and whites 
crowding our quiet street 
red and blue lights pulsing 
imprinting in my brain 
that damn song 
worming its way 
into Consciousness 
breaking off 
my innocence with it

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