Episode 005: The Monster Heart World

Guilliean reads her self-penned poetry. Stream the episode below and read along with the author.

1. The Monster That Ate Time

unfriendly fountain 
an ugly monster dances 
whilst watching the time

2. Hello World

hello world, what are you doing on my front step 
guess it's my turn to shine in the spotlight 
I don't think I'm ready yet 
I still have things to do, here in my castle 
that you wouldn't understand 
I'm perfectly fine on my own 
and in the end, I'll die, sad and alone 
don't burden me with your problems, you say 
I'm just a member of the silent majority, you say
How am I supposed to refute that? 
do I need to seek professional help 
pay my hard-earned money
money to people who don't need it 
to tell some scholar academic my problems 
when Common Sense dictates what I already know 
you're merely a robot 
programmed to listen 
to obey 
another Infamous good boy gone bad rocket scientist 
to tell you to cry, to suffer, to touch, to adore, j'adore
but you can't feel, can you, world? 
We're silent Partners, world 
and I wonder: is your partnership a blessing 
a wake-up call from the gods 
reassuring my immortal salvation 
excuse me, who are you?
I'm so confused
 I'm alone in my principles 
ground glass in my oatmeal cookies 
the blood from the wounds tastes just like ketchup 
I let you rotate, world 
spin and weave your pretty little lies 
to create a Purple Haze 
a fog to envelope me in sorrow 
a cloak of forgetfulness 
the summer air is heavy 
my heart beats like a drum 
my knees are weak and I'm sweating bad 
won't you come inside?
I'll turn the cold air on 
so you'll be okay 
see my eyes, world? 
I'm mentally undressing you 
so I know how you feel 
when you're like me 
when you're naked 
all the carnal feelings of the flesh 
play tricks on your mind 
the core of your star-studded sex is calling for me 
sadly enough 
sex rocks my world 
they say 
Catholic schoolgirls are hypocrites, starved 
a brand of sexual innocence in a plaid skirt 
sucking on a cherry lollipop 
if that's so, send me to hell right away 
so I'm a liar 
I'll tell you one thing 
and do another 
World, I change 
I cry for you 
I feel for you 
the incense lingers in the air 
like the treachery 
that you told me 
before we go our separate ways 
please know that I've tried
 I never lied 
I never cheated 
I never stole 
everything else was a go 
how does it feel 
to be reminded 
of your imperfections 
I don't even know 
if the words on this page 
make sense 
but flawlessness is not you, world 
you cry 
you wail 
you gnash your teeth 
and I undergo your pain 
in the depths of my soul 
but I still feel as though I can't trust you 
I depended on you for Comfort 
friendship and 
the occasional episode 
of casual sex 
and even now you deny me 
look at me, I'm still the lanky 
raven-haired Beauty you ordered 
I'm just a pawn in your chess game 
a piece of beautiful garbage 
but then again 
I'm not 
your tears are my tears, world 
I feel unloved, unwanted, not needed, sometimes world 
I only undressed you 
because I've always been naked 
in front of you I try to be different 
which defeats the point.

3. Mon cœur

Où est mon cœur? 
Il est dans les yeux brun a mon amour. 
Pourquoi est-ce qu'il est parti à chez moi, 
ma peau fait froid sans il. 
Je penche ma tête dans une prière 
pour mon cœur revient à moi. 
J'entends la voix de mon petit cœur dans à autres. 
J'entends l'amour, 
la patience, 
la force, 
mais les soupçons aussi. 
J'avais oublié les soupçons.

Where is my heart?
It's in the brown eyes of my lover.
Why did he leave my home?
My skin is cold without him.
I bow my head in prayer
for my love to come back to me.
I hear the voice of my love in others.
I hear the love,
the patience,
the strength,
but the suspicions too.
I had forgotten the suspicions.

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