Who am I as a person and as a professional?

I am a very quiet, studious person who tends to sing the song in her head in a loop. I am a hermit who needs to network more, which is the way to go if you want to move onwards and upwards. I hold my cards tight and never let them go, yet I stew if something goes wrong for far too long. I am going to work as hard as I possibly can to say “I did my best with the tools and education that I have at hand. If it didn’t work out, then that’s okay” and not obsess over it. I like to take care of people, make sure they are comfortable and welcomed. But I don’t like it when they push back when I cannot give them what they want.

As a professional, I am always on time, in uniform, and with a neutral look on my face. The smiles come when I can give someone excellent service. I tend to leave all my emotional problems at the time clock. I can separate my personal and professional lives. My time is my time; my time on the clock is their time. I suppose I could make small talk more often with my guests but I can’t even do that in real life when I’m myself. I think it’s a big waste of time and frankly, I don’t care. I have tried so hard to change that but I personally get annoyed when people ask me questions like that. Like what business is it of yours what I am doing here? Why do you need to comment on my purchases? Just ring me up and let me go, please & thank you. I smile and nod but I don’t really hear what they are asking me. I see my profession as a big act, but I guess that’s how it is with any job. We all want to believe that what we are being sold is the only way to spend our money, but it really isn’t. It’s just one person’s informed opinion whose preconceived reputation merely enhances the lie. Like when a famous person promotes an energy drink or clothing line or they release another perfume. You’re being sold something and it’s all a lie.

That makes me sound negative about my job, but I love it. Maybe the lies are what makes it easier to handle my real life, which is boring by any other standards. I couldn’t imagine myself being anywhere else, though. Its job security and thousands of people don’t have that. I am not going to have survivor’s guilt either. I earned my job and I earn it every day in my paycheck, and the numbers I bring in. I give 200% to my guests to the best of my ability. But I am also going to be realistic. Maybe that’s how I should approach it when the day is really bad. We are all players in this game.

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.

I invite you to ask yourself the same question.

I am determined to make 2012 a year of clarity and patience. I am going to take my creative writing more seriously. I quite figuratively have well over 30 works-in-progress that need some attention. 2011 was such a blur that it took me a year to find my footing, but I am comfortable where I am at and feel I can focus on them. My plan is to find some time to take a week off from work, rent a room somewhere and tackle these pieces. I don’t know how far I will get but I will do my damnedest to finish them all. And maybe shop them around??

This mentality is going hand in hand with the theme of NaBloPoMo this month, “beginnings.” I am going to start with a clean slate, take stock of what I am and who I can be. This question is a 3-part one; the other 2 I will answer tomorrow and the day after. I got the questions from a CareerBuilder article where it asked where 2012 would take you professionally. It said writing down your thoughts would help. I hope to reference these entries in the future when I am having a bad day.

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